Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
