I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
