I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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