White coat. Heels.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit