No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
