Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
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It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
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He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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