Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Crying babies in a bar. Really?

(708): View more from Illinois

And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Grow some girl-balls and come out already

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(512): View more from Texas

OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(224): View more from Illinois

Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?

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(910): View more from North Carolina

And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.

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(503): View more from Oregon

No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.

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(519): View more from Ontario

If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws

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(440): View more from Ohio

All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in

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