i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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