Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
