youre lurking in front of me
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Randomize
