i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
