i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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