Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
