i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
A bitchslap is in order.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
