It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
