summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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