Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
