Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
