Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
