Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
from now on my penis is your penis
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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