my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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