Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
They took my balls.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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