Christians are straight up FREAKS
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
