Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies