after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.