Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"