Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
