I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
