This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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