Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"

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(864): View more from South Carolina

If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"

(1-864): View more from South Carolina

as in "white"?

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(518): View more from New York

4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(631): View more from New York

So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage

(608): View more from Wisconsin

HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES

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(207): View more from Maine

HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

best eviction party ever.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.

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(906): View more from Michigan

I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.

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