Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
