sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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