marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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