Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He shit in the fireplace
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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