dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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