I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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