i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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