why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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