he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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