her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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