Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
