Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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