oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
