The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
my poor anus
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
