I heard we made out
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
