There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
