well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize