And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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