Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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