you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize