We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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