it wasn't lemon gatorade
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
