THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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