I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
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I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Hippo gnu deer
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
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You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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