Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize