Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor

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  (703): Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor http://tfl.nu/qca9
  Replies (20) Good night (2722) Bad night (643)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson

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  (973): How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson http://tfl.nu/43b3
  Replies (24) Good night (905) Bad night (2996)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.

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  (508): Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor. (339): No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though. http://tfl.nu/0uyr
  Replies (34) Good night (9819) Bad night (1476)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes

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  (817): Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes http://tfl.nu/2z3z
  Replies (44) Good night (961) Bad night (4269)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.

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  (513): Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot. http://tfl.nu/qalf
  Replies (15) Good night (7957) Bad night (1069)
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  (516): View more from New York

  They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.

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  (516): They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were. http://tfl.nu/skxs
  Replies (5) Good night (5377) Bad night (1007)
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  (716): View more from New York

  her body is proportioned like a family guy character

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  (716): her body is proportioned like a family guy character http://tfl.nu/ptef
  Replies (15) Good night (1477) Bad night (4167)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?

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  (708): Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in? http://tfl.nu/sg75
  Replies (5) Good night (2182) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears

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  (616): I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears http://tfl.nu/z9kz
  Replies (12) Good night (705) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly

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  (309): well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly http://tfl.nu/pg5j
  Replies (4) Good night (2426) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?

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  (323): I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there? http://tfl.nu/203x
  Replies (7) Good night (468) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes

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  (407): I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes http://tfl.nu/re4k
  Replies (5) Good night (699) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.

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  (+64): If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help. http://tfl.nu/n5gu
  Replies (1) Good night (637) Bad night (308)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool

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  (775): Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool http://tfl.nu/1zs1
  Replies (3) Good night (1153) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.

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  (508): I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi. http://tfl.nu/i78a
  Replies (1) Good night (487) Bad night (259)

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