Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.

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(586): theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/psvc

Replies (12) Good night (977) Bad night (7348)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.

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(732): Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night. http://tfl.nu/1hz1

Replies (13) Good night (3639) Bad night (1144)
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(817): View more from Texas

HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.

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(817): HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis. http://tfl.nu/iuvq

Replies (28) Good night (6005) Bad night (955)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?

(203): View more from Connecticut

bc i get to see you. naked.

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(203): are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid? (203): bc i get to see you. naked. http://tfl.nu/db7h

Replies (24) Good night (8302) Bad night (1355)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.

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(256): Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation. http://tfl.nu/su8c

Replies (11) Good night (3346) Bad night (991)
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(352): View more from Florida

Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.

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(352): Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person. http://tfl.nu/l0db

Replies (10) Good night (1154) Bad night (3632)
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(313): View more from Michigan

tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve

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(313): tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve http://tfl.nu/02r5

Replies (12) Good night (3770) Bad night (949)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.

(1-808): View more from Hawaii

Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?

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(808): Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide. (1-808): Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway? http://tfl.nu/exam

Replies (4) Good night (1318) Bad night (1836)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.

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(250): Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza. http://tfl.nu/3z2i

Replies (9) Good night (1990) Bad night (777)
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(310): View more from California

So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...

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(310): So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off... http://tfl.nu/wmce

Replies (4) Good night (637) Bad night (1115)
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(419): View more from Ohio

She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(

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(419): She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :( http://tfl.nu/482z

Replies (3) Good night (344) Bad night (744)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.

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(918): My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo. http://tfl.nu/6dok

Replies (3) Good night (911) Bad night (349)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...

(843): View more from South Carolina

Happy Fourth.

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(843): I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night... (843): Happy Fourth. http://tfl.nu/0uin

Replies (0) Good night (528) Bad night (244)
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(949): View more from California

I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library

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(949): I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library http://tfl.nu/jhv7

Replies (3) Good night (578) Bad night (242)
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(760): View more from California

This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful

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(760): This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful http://tfl.nu/eznx

Replies (1) Good night (431) Bad night (269)

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