I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize