We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
