I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
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There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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