her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
