I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
