I hate your face
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
