Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I need moral support for this bender
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Randomize
