This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
