Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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