I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
