what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize