I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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