how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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