you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
