Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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